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| UNIT 1 | PARENTING The Need Our Answer Options Parenting Materials |
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Historically,
parenting was the first topic
that FIT addressed. Nearly all incarcerated persons are
parents – male or female, teenager or older. Most
are single. Many
have not had the
nurturing, modeling, and teaching that would show them how to be good
parents.
We have found a great desire among them for help in this
area. Even
those with good backgrounds are seeking help, and the faith-based
approach is often
preferred. Parents
naturally want to be better parents,
and many are seeking help. In our
program, the parenting unit is one of the most sought-after.
Requests for our courses and completion
certificates are quite common in both incarceration and community-based
settings. They are used more and more
often in sentencing and parole as evidence of progress made toward
reentering
society or regaining custody of children.
As the costs of incarceration, family services, and crime keep going
up,
more and more agencies are searching for effective transitional and
true-rehabilitation programs that will reduce recidivism (repeat
offenses). The need for parenting education goes far
beyond those with a record or those whose children have been taken away. A whole generation of
parents has grown up
without the benefit of a functional family when they were children. They are either literal
orphans or functional
ones due to substance, physical, or emotional abuse.
Simply put, many in our society have not had
good parenting modeled while they were growing up.
They desire better for their own children
now, but they must be taught new and better ways.
We have found that many are eager to learn. Even parents from stable and functional families have difficulties with the challenges of being a parent. Successfully guiding children from birth to being on their own is one of the largest projects of our lives. This is by no means easy when everything is near ideal. If the children have special needs, it gets even more difficult. Bewilderment and isolation often face parents when they have exhausted what they believe are the “tried and true” ways they know about and come up empty. Parents need group settings with other parents where they can share without being looked down upon or criticized. They need to see how to problem solve and come up with their own solutions so that their “impossible situation” becomes more manageable. It is also important that courses and materials should be effective with those using them. In incarceration, for example, where two-thirds may have less than a 9th grade education, it doesn’t make sense to give a lecture-style intervention with materials “above their heads” requiring a high reading level. It also doesn’t make sense to have a heavy focus on the marriage component as many are not married or not in stable relationships. The emphasis should just be on being a good parent – with or without a spouse. |
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Good parenting requires good problem solving
strategies. It is
not enough to just
read through books and become consumers of facts.
Each parenting situation is unique and will
require a custom approach. Applying
good
practice is much harder than just learning about it.
Addressing this dimension is central to our
parenting unit, as well as to our entire curriculum. Giving
and receiving of respect is also a
crucial element of our materials. Nobody
wants to be viewed as a bad parent.
There may be shame that the children have been taken away or
embarrassment that an otherwise highly-successful adult has problems at
home. It is sometimes easier to deal
with a prisoner than with the church-goer because of pride and shame of
not
being willing to admit to having a problem.
Regardless, our small, confidential, group settings are the answer to
both. Trained facilitators make it safe.
No one will open up without first feeling safe. We focus on underlying causes, not on the
problem. Everyone
in the group is treated
with respect and no one is targeted as having a particular kind of
problem. The
principles dealt with are
broad enough that it includes the things that concern all parents,
regardless
of level of functioning or effectiveness.
We do not force anyone to
“admit” to having any kind of problem. Instead, the emphasis is
on how the whole
group can learn something valuable. Our parenting materials also realistically
address the formats which will be needed.
Part of the success of our unit 1 can be attributed
to its compact
format: the course only lasts for 5 two-hour lessons.
Those with short attention spans and little
patience can “graduate” with something solid and
with a sense of
accomplishment. Likewise,
volunteers
like it because it doesn’t commit them to long periods of
time, making it
easier for facilities to get volunteers.
Longer periods can also be selected for more
extended study. There are
three parts to our Parenting unit.
These can be used in isolation for as little as five lessons, or in
combination
for up to twenty-six lessons. At
two
hours per lesson, this provides a range of 10 to 46 hours of
instructional
time. This
flexibility allows each
institution to customize this unit according to local needs and
expectations. Some
facilitators like the
short time periods. On
the other hand,
courts and probation officers often require more than five lessons for
credit
towards meeting their requirements.
Also, the nature of each of our options is a bit
different, offering
even more choices. |
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PARENTING OPTIONS
All Materials May Be Used In Any Order
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