Historically, parenting was the first topic that FIT addressed.  Nearly all incarcerated persons are parents – male or female, teenager or older.  Most are single.  Many have not had the nurturing, modeling, and teaching that would show them how to be good parents.  We have found a great desire among them for help in this area.  Even those with good backgrounds are seeking help, and the faith-based approach is often preferred.

Parents naturally want to be better parents, and many are seeking help.  In our program, the parenting unit is one of the most sought-after.  Requests for our courses and completion certificates are quite common in both incarceration and community-based settings.  They are used more and more often in sentencing and parole as evidence of progress made toward reentering society or regaining custody of children.  As the costs of incarceration, family services, and crime keep going up, more and more agencies are searching for effective transitional and true-rehabilitation programs that will reduce recidivism (repeat offenses).

The need for parenting education goes far beyond those with a record or those whose children have been taken away.  A whole generation of parents has grown up without the benefit of a functional family when they were children.  They are either literal orphans or functional ones due to substance, physical, or emotional abuse.  Simply put, many in our society have not had good parenting modeled while they were growing up.  They desire better for their own children now, but they must be taught new and better ways.  We have found that many are eager to learn.

Even parents from stable and functional families have difficulties with the challenges of being a parent.  Successfully guiding children from birth to being on their own is one of the largest projects of our lives.  This is by no means easy when everything is near ideal.  If the children have special needs, it gets even more difficult.

Bewilderment and isolation often face parents when they have exhausted what they believe are the “tried and true” ways they know about and come up empty.  Parents need group settings with other parents where they can share without being looked down upon or criticized.  They need to see how to problem solve and come up with their own solutions so that their “impossible situation” becomes more manageable. 

It is also important that courses and materials should be effective with those using them. In incarceration, for example, where two-thirds may have less than a 9th grade education, it doesn’t make sense to give a lecture-style intervention with materials “above their heads” requiring a high reading level.  It also doesn’t make sense to have a heavy focus on the marriage component as many are not married or not in stable relationships.  The emphasis should just be on being a good parent – with or without a spouse.

Good parenting requires good problem solving strategies.  It is not enough to just read through books and become consumers of facts.  Each parenting situation is unique and will require a custom approach.  Applying good practice is much harder than just learning about it.  Addressing this dimension is central to our parenting unit, as well as to our entire curriculum.

Giving and receiving of respect is also a crucial element of our materials.  Nobody wants to be viewed as a bad parent.  There may be shame that the children have been taken away or embarrassment that an otherwise highly-successful adult has problems at home.  It is sometimes easier to deal with a prisoner than with the church-goer because of pride and shame of not being willing to admit to having a problem.  Regardless, our small, confidential, group settings are the answer to both. Trained facilitators make it safe.  No one will open up without first feeling safe.

We focus on underlying causes, not on the problem.  Everyone in the group is treated with respect and no one is targeted as having a particular kind of problem.  The principles dealt with are broad enough that it includes the things that concern all parents, regardless of level of functioning or effectiveness.  We do not force anyone to “admit” to having any kind of problem.  Instead, the emphasis is on how the whole group can learn something valuable.

Our parenting materials also realistically address the formats which will be needed.  Part of the success of our unit 1 can be attributed to its compact format: the course only lasts for 5 two-hour lessons.  Those with short attention spans and little patience can “graduate” with something solid and with a sense of accomplishment.  Likewise, volunteers like it because it doesn’t commit them to long periods of time, making it easier for facilities to get volunteers.  Longer periods can also be selected for more extended study.

There are three parts to our Parenting unit. These can be used in isolation for as little as five lessons, or in combination for up to twenty-six lessons.  At two hours per lesson, this provides a range of 10 to 46 hours of instructional time.  This flexibility allows each institution to customize this unit according to local needs and expectations.  Some facilitators like the short time periods.  On the other hand, courts and probation officers often require more than five lessons for credit towards meeting their requirements.  Also, the nature of each of our options is a bit different, offering even more choices.